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Life Love

Love, Sex And Living In The Now

I got an email containing a question. The summary of that question is: what does living in the now feels like?

Honestly, I cannot say exactly. Words are completely useless and cannot explain the Being that you are. It’s like sex. There is no amount of description I could come up with that can truly bring into picture the experience of sex. It is beyond words.

But I will try.

If you’ve ever fallen in love, you’ll notice there this bliss in your life which is as a result of the love you are experiencing for another. But after about a month, two months, a week, depending on the level of ego at play, the bliss slowly clears and you’re back on Earth. For some, the bliss doesn’t clear completely so they are able to hustle in the relationship so as to make it work.

That feeling you experience when you fall in love, that bliss, that ‘oh everything is so perfect’ feeling, is called Presence. That is you living in the present moment. In this present moment, you accept everything.

Whenever the ego wins in these types of relationships, the person might discover that what he/she found so attractive in the other has become very appalling and question their own sanity to accept such a partner.

(I would advise that if you want to learn quickly how to live in the now or to be present most of time, the easiest route will be with your partner. Not the “perfect partner” but the one you are in right now, if you are in any at all).

People fall out of love because their Egos become too powerful … and your Ego is simply you thinking, and identifying with those thoughts.

So when you truly fall in love, there is no thought. Just presence in the most pure form. But as time goes on, the guy starts doing some things or the girl start doing some things … then you start thinking. The thinking is not bad. The problem however is identification with those thoughts. What I mean by that is this:

If I ask you what this is,

You’ll probably say, ‘that’s a bird’ … and you would be right. That is what we all call it … a bird. But the very act of thinking you know what that thing is because you have given it a name is the problem. You don’t know what it is. Because the human collective decided to call it a bird doesn’t mean we know what it is!

This thing we call bird, is it good or bad?

You might say, ‘oh yes, it is good’.

You came up with that judgment because you have had a pleasant experience with it. But those who got their face scratched by the bird would have a completely different opinion.

There is the identification with thought and there is presence. While present, you simply enjoy the presence of it without the need to label it or label what it is doing or not doing. If as in the present moment, the bird poops on your hand and you do, ‘Ewwwww’, well you had to think to do that. You had to label that act and decide that it was gross before you go ‘ewwww’.

To explain further, when two couples are in a fight, their egos are very much activated. If this two somehow are able to deal with their differences, say, after a week or two, depending on the Ego level, the both of them feel completely blissful again. They are back in the present and when they have sex just after the reconciliation, the pleasure is much more intense. Some people will explain this as, pleasure and pain work together. Actually, they are fully in the present with their awareness very much in the present, so the pleasure is felt more. The more present you are, the more powerful your mind becomes.

So living in the now is simply being present right now and accepting fully all that is now. This doesn’t mean you should stop thinking. First, you really don’t need to think all the time. But when you do finally decide to think, your thoughts will come directly from Presence and not from the collective. Secondly, your thought now becomes a tool rather than a personality and you use this tool to create what you want rather than the tool taking over you and using you to keep it’s false identity alive.

You are of course blessed.

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